29 Sep

The Goonies

“Come on, guys.This is our time. Our last chance to see if there really is any rich stuff.”

– Mikey

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As fall approaches, the leaves change and we find ourselves in a new season that seems to be perfect for childish journeys, scary movies, and interacting with the supernatural. That is why in honor of the upcoming season of Stranger Things, and conversations around It in full swing, what better time to take a look back at the film that seems to have such a strong influence on those properties. It is time to head to Goon Docks and join the bike-riding group known as The Goonies.

The Food

During our viewing of The Goonies, one thing was very clear: the affectionately-titled character Chunk never got his due and deserved more than what the film had to offer. We get the well-known Truffle Shuffle from him which is an action that makes him the butt of the joke and someone you feel for, as he is constantly made fun of. And for that very reason, we are going to dedicate this meal to you, Chunk. We are going to take what was once an action of fat-shaming and ridicule and turn it into a fully-featured fall meal in honor of you.

It is important to start off simple. Truffles, after all, can be a food both rich in flavor and price so it is best not to get yourself in too deep. Behold the black truffle salad, a simple recipe consisting of potatoes, Boston lettuce, truffles, and a simple dressing. Now, the keen observer may realize that there aren’t actually any truffles to be seen on this dish, and you would be correct. Feel free to blame the dry summer because truffles were nowhere to be found. Instead, we opted for a truffle oil as a stand-in for the flavor.

It is getting colder in the Pacific Northwest, and to keep a body warm on a cold night, soup does wonders. To that end, we made a delicious and hearty roasted cauliflower soup with truffle oil. Top it off with some parsley and bacon to add some texture and depth to the soup, and you have a dish ready to fill any tummy.

To close this all out with something along the sweeter end of the spectrum, we held true to the “truffle” namesake but in the chocolate form. We made chocolate truffles with an Oreo and cream cheese filling and topped them with a sprinkling of salt and rose hips. All that is left is to taste the delicious morsel that is surprisingly simple in construction yet bursting with a depth of flavor that leaves you good after one bite.

The Drinks

Making the drink, on the other hand, was a slightly more difficult to adhere to the truffle theme, but we found a way. Mixing hen of the woods mushrooms, mezcal, and a delicious rosemary cinnamon honey syrup, the Truffle Pig is the perfect drink to sip your way through this truffle menu. The mushrooms add a subtle depth, and the rosemary makes for a drink slightly more on the savory side than you would normally get out of a cocktail. It was delicious and a drink we are considering keeping around more often.

The Rules

The drinking rules for The Goonies are as follows:

🗣 Drink whenever they yell in unison.

🌬 Drink whenever an inhaler is used.

🐍 Drink whenever anyone says the phrase “One-Eyed Willie.”

The Movie

The Goonies is supposed to be a classic and was supposedly a major influence for Stranger Things. We came into this as new viewers, watching it without rose-tinted nostalgia lens, and let us tell you, The Goonies is the worst.

Unlike the lovable cast of kids in Stranger Things, the children in The Goonies really suck. They’re very much one-note characters. Mikey is the protagonist with nothing interesting about him. Mouth is there to be the smartass, and very quickly you wish he wasn’t around. Chunk is there so we can get some fat jokes in. Data is one of the two non-white characters in the movie, and they both are stereotypical caricatures. The two girls are just there to scream and kiss boys. Every character is flat, and none of them really experience any growth throughout the movie, which makes for a very bland viewing experience.

On top of the flat characters, you have a story that progresses solely as things happen for the characters. Rarely does the movie set up the moments and actions that are happening around it, leaving the band of kids nothing more than mice in a human-guided maze.

These characters are made worse by the fact that they are constantly yelling over each other. Constantly. At least half of the dialogue in the movie is just kids screaming over each other. We found ourselves wondering if they actually had scripted lines or if it was improv every time. It was painful to watch and definitely doesn’t withstand the test of time. If you were looking for any rich stuff, you won’t find it here.

Want more? Listen to us talk about The Goonies on iTunes or wherever you listen to podcasts.

The Reviews

André: Bad. I didn’t like it. I loved Stranger Things, and just watched the 2017 version of It, so I was coming into The Goonies with high expectations. I thought it would be a fun adventure romp, but it was just a lot of noise.

Leanna: Why do people like this film? When I mentioned to people we were watching this film, I was met with a lot of nods of recognition and smiles. “Oh, it’s a classic!” they said. “I loved it when I was little!” they said. I do not understand how this got the recognition of being a classic or how anyone could love this movie. Maybe younger viewers would find the constant yelling and haphazard journey entertaining, but certainly, no adult who watches this film with their kid could possibly like it? If you haven’t seen The Goonies yet, don’t bother.

Ben: 45%. During my viewing experience and a couple days after I could only really describe The Goonies as “weird.” A lot of the humor choices were weird for a kids film, and at times not funny at all when it comes at the expense of what is likely an underpaid character of Mexican descent. The villains were weird, they were never truly set up as characters to really be feared, and you have little understanding of their place in the film as a whole. Sloth’s whole arc is weird, and it seems like he is only present because they needed a strong man to save the day because the kids were incapable of doing it themselves. It is weird that this film became the cultural touchstone it is today, and I was left trying to come up with a hypothesis of both why it is revered and why it was influential. I finally decided that it had to be because it was so different than anything that had come before it: American society had reached a point where kids going on an adventure like that was more or less acceptable and it represented an innovation on the typical idea of adventure and was a refreshing taking on a coming-of-age story. I had to find some reason to accept that people love this film when it fell short of my expectations.