High School Musical

“Hey, hey, hey. Look at me – right at me. Like the first time together, remember…”

-Troy

The Set Up

Troy looked up at the balcony. It was so far away, but he decided to just start climbing. He had to see Gabriella, the most beautiful girl in the school who just happened to have an amazing voice and amazing chemistry with him. She didn’t actually have chemistry with him, because she took it last quarter and Troy had it fourth period. Furthermore, Troy didn’t think chemistry class was all that amazing, since all he cared about was basketball. Well, until he met Gabriella and learned the true meaning of chemistry.

“Okay, better start climbing,” Troy said to himself. One step, two steps, three – oh no! His pants got stuck in the vines. Troy tugged and tugged, but he couldn’t move. He stopped pushing with his legs and just pulled with his strong basketball player arms. “Come on, Troy! Just pretend it’s a pull up.” He kept pulling and pulling and finally he got unstuck. Only one problem: he had pulled himself up – right out of his pants! They were still stuck in the vine. This was unplanned, kind of like what happened after Gabriella let him in from the balcony…

The Food

It was two weeks later, and Troy showed up at Gabriella’s house, but this time wearing pants. He brought a different surprise this time.

“Taco Bell!?” Gabriella squealed with delight. “Troy, you know that’s my favorite. That’s why we have such good chemistry. Trust me, I would know. I took it last quarter,” she said with a wink.

“I got the Black Bean Southwest Salad because I know you like the Black Bean Southwest Salad,” said Troy, and it was true. He knew she liked the Black Bean Southwest Salad because she told him that the last time they were talking about Taco Bell.

“Don’t tell me… You got more than just the Black Bean SouthwestSsalad, didn’t you?” Gabriella said.

“Yeah, guess what I got,” said Troy, feeling playful.

“Oh, please let it be Crunchwrap Supremes®!” Gabriella clasped her hands together, and looked into Troy’s beautiful blue eyes.

“If I say yes, will you give me a kiss?” said Troy, his heart aflutter.

“Ummm… Okay!” said Gabriella, and she gave him a big kiss right on the lips. It was the best kiss Troy had ever had, well except for maybe the one he had that night on the balcony…

They ate the Crunchwrap Supremes® and marveled at how good they were. They tasted really good.

“I really like the tostada in the middle. It’s so crunchy!” said Gabriella.

“I really like you,” said Troy, and it was true. He did really like her. He was starting to think he liked her even more than basketball, but he wasn’t sure yet.

“Aw, Troy… That’s so sweet. I really like you too,” Gabriella said. She had such a pretty smile, even with a piece of cilantro stuck in her teeth. Troy didn’t tell her because he didn’t want to ruin such a perfect moment.

“Do you like me, or do you like me like me?” Troy said. He thought he knew the answer, but he had to be sure.

“I like you… And I like you like you!” laughed Gabriella. And it was true. She liked him, but she had some big news to tell him, and she hoped he would like her like her even after he knew.

The Drinks

“So, there is this party later tonight at Sharpei’s house. Do you want to go with me? Since you like me so much,” said Troy.

“Ummm… I don’t know. She was so mean to me earlier, and I really don’t like her brother’s hats. They’re so weird… And is it a drinking party? I don’t have anything to drink,” said Gabriella.

“Yeah, it is a drinking party, and that reminds me, I have another surprise for you.” Troy pulled out a bottle of blush Carlo Rossi from his backpack with a devilish grin, like the one he had on the balcony two weeks ago.

The Rules

“They have these rules at the party, Gabriella,” said Troy. “You have to drink whenever a song starts or ends, whenever someone dribbles a basketball, and whenever someone says ‘Wildcats!’”

“Oh wow, Troy, that’s a big bottle of wine! And those rules are so crazy… I have never heard of a party where you have to drink when songs start and end. That sounds dangerous. Also the basketball thing is weird… Is this another one of your basketball parties? You’re so silly. I can’t drink any, though, because I have some big news to tell you…” said Gabriella, looking at her toes.

“What is it?” Troy said, confused about what was going on.

“Troy… I’m pregnant, and it’s yours.”

She looked up from her feet and into Troy’s sparkling green eyes. She just hoped he would still like her. She was a strong, independent 16-year-old and was confident she could raise the baby on her own if she had to, and she could have her career as a professional chemist too, but the one thing she didn’t know was if Troy would still like her. That was the one thing she didn’t know in this world.

“Oh my gosh, Gabriella! That’s so exciting! I always wanted to be a dad! I can’t wait to teach him to play basketball! Or her! Either way I’m excited, and either way, this baby is going to be a basketball star!” Troy had never been so excited in his life.

“Oh, that’s great Troy! I just want to know one thing… Do you still like me?” This was the one thing she just had to know.

“Like you? I think I just might love you!” said Troy. This was a very big moment for him because he realized he did love her, even more than he loved basketball. And he loved basketball a lot. “We should probably not go to a drinking party then! I just want to spend time with you. Let’s stay inside and watch a movie, okay?”

The Movie

Gabriella and Troy sat down and watched Romeo and Juliet. They couldn’t help thinking about how much their lives were like Romeo and Juliet, but instead of Capulets and Montagues, there were nerds and basketball players. Also there was more music in their lives than in Romeo and Juliet.

The music in their lives was nothing short of magical. An independent observer might call it groan-worthy, but the music was special for them and very relevant to their specific life experiences, so that was okay.

When they got to the balcony scene at Romeo and Juliet, they both blushed. They remembered their own night on the balcony, and how it led them to where they were now. However, the similarities between their lives and Romeo and Juliet’s stopped there. While the rest of the movie got very sad and many people died, Gabriella and Troy’s life just got better and better. Rather than killing each other, both of their friends banded together to help Gabriella and Troy get the lead parts in the high school musical. It was a very important moment in their story and they both thought their lives couldn’t get any better after that. But they were wrong: once they had the baby and got married, their lives got even better. Gabriella got a Nobel Peace Prize for her discoveries in chemistry, and Troy got drafted to play for the Lakers. They both write and perform musicals in their free time with their daughter, Rose.

The End

The Reviews

Andre: Three pointer! Wow this movie was surprisingly fun to watch! Granted, we didn’t pay too close attention and made up a lot of the plot on our own, as I have outlined above. Also I would never watch it again, but the experience of watching it and trying my hand at fan fiction was fun.

Leanna: On a scale of sober patroller to blackout via Carlo Rossi, I give this movie a solid, “Shots! Shots! Shots!” It seems like it might be fun at the time, but when you wake up the next day and really think about it, it was probably not a good decision. Also, our lawyer wanted me to make sure I told you that should you choose to use the drinking rules outlined above, you do so at your own risk, and Munch is not responsible for anything that may happen as a result of you following the rules. She also advised me to tell you that it may be in your best interest to suspend the rules during the scene when Troy sings, “Get Your Head in the Game.” Consider yourself warned!

Ben: Score based on the experience I had watching this film: 90%. Score adjusted for reality: 25%. There was a story that this movie was trying to tell and then there was the story it actually told. The story it was trying to tell was surprising, interesting, and kept us all entertained. The one they actually told was brought down by mediocre musical numbers and poor acting. I think everyone can agree that the story they were trying to tell (more or less outlined above) is the one they should have told.